New Teardrop Orchestra E.P.

The second song is a cover.
This is also out on cassette somewhere in Portland.
Idk where, Jon Seitan has it somewhere in a box.

http://matthewteardroporchestra.bandcamp.com/releases

This One Time I Almost Got Sued by Disney.

Well, when I was a kid my parents used to pass out Gospel tracts on the National Mall in Washington D.C.

I decided to get in on the act eventually and started making my own tracts to pass out.

Last time I went home to Virginia I found a couple that I made.

Here's one where I compared and contrasted a trip to Disneyland and a trip to Heaven.

It's called "The Magic Kingdom."

Was "The Magic Kingdom" referring to Disney World or Heaven?
Read on and decide.

If you're thinking about going to a Disney theme park you should kill yourself instead because Heaven is more fun and has free snacks and no lines.

Well, I'm assuming a lot of people became Christians because of this.

There were a few times when I was a kid that random people called my house to talk about Jesus and I didn't really know what to say to them so it was usually pretty awkward.

Also at some point I received a "Cease and Desist" letter from the Disney company who somehow I guess ended up with a copy of this. But my Uncle lawyer wrote them a letter back telling them I was a kid or something and we never heard back from them.

Also once when i was like 14 a bunch of kids at my church found these tracts I made and made fun of me for it.

We're all just trying our best.

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What Have I Done?

This Stuff

Haiku Tour Diary.

I went on a solo acoustic tour and I wrote a haiku everyday. These are the haikus.

Bakersfield

So close to Gibbons.

I hope I get to see him.

Bus leaves; no Gibbons.

                                                           

Fresno

"Do you have some change?"

"Oh, you wanna fuck him now?"

 Keep fucking walking.

Portland

"You got a dollar?

I need to get to Eugene.

Getting my hip fixed."

Boise

Didn't make the show.

Didn't meet up with Kira.

Got drunk; passed out;  left.

Salt Lake City

I wish I was drunk,

Maybe then these anarchists

Would understand me.

Tucson

"I didn't expect

Such a beautiful voice." What's

That supposed to mean?

Phoenix

I'm so much older

Than everyone at Trunk Space.

Guess I'll be first dead.

Las Vegas

My trips to Vegas

Are just like "The Hangover"

But with one sad dude.

San Diego

I don't give a shit.

Neither does the audience.

And we'll all die bored.

Los Angeles

Slept in my own bed,

Which normally ain't so great,

But tonight it was.

Santa Barbara

Got a new tattoo

From some drunk dude I don't know.

He gave me a ghost.

Oakland 1

Hey, how do you catch

A unique rabbit? Easy,

Unique up on it.

Oakland 2

I saw this movie,

Polish film about a nun.

I guess I've seen worse.

San Francisco

Going home early

Because I miss my girlfriend

And my Del Taco.